#13 “Sports Fanatics”

football
There are three things that you’ll notice upon attending any Atlanta Falcons game here in Atlanta. The first is that the Falcons are probably losing. This is especially true if the Falcons are in the playoffs and Matt Ryan is in the game, holding anything that remotely resembles a football.

The second is that nearly half of all of the people in attendance (regardless of claiming to be die hard Falcons fans), will in fact be in support of the opposing team. The exception of course is unless the Falcons are actually winning or Michael Vick and the Eagles are playing. On paper Michael Vick and Matt Ryan are essentially the same player. Most Atlanta Falcons fans however have learned to hate everything that Michael Vick stands for which unfortunately includes the possibility of a Super Bowl win.

The most important thing that you should take note to is that almost every Atlanta woman in attendance will lay claim to be one of the biggest self proclaimed sports fanatics.

When an Atlanta woman says that she’s a sports fanatic, she really means that she watches Basketball Wives, Baseball Wives or The T.O. Show faithfully. To the Atlanta woman, watching one episode of women who offer nothing to the sports arena, equates to watching at least three seasons of people who play the sport professionally. It also of course now means that she officially knows more than you, and as a result will begin repeating all sorts of sports man like clichés regardless of the appropriateness of the situation or the team they belong to.

Try not to appear too confused when she shouts “Who Dat,” in response to the Falcons losing against the Giants or Atlanta “Housewife” Kim Zoliack landing her own scripted reality television show with Falcons defensive end Kroy Beirmann. Instead, speak her language and make her feel as if she’s apart of the game by telling her that once Beirmann and Kim have their baby, the Falcons are destined for a Super Bowl win.

While this will accomplish nothing, at least you’ll have something to laugh about until the start of your next real date with someone else.

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Hellanta

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